Not really a list item but whatevs.

The point of this list was to get me out of my comfort zone, to experience new things and ease the blow of turning 30. In reality, I've only crossed off a few items but I feel like this year has been one of tons of new experiences and new friends.

So far, I've gone camping twice(which I've never really done), gone out of town a whole bunch of times(which we haven't really gotten to do, I mean we didn't even get a honeymoon!), and crammed about as much fun stuff into our summer as we possibly could. It was such a whirlwind of a packed schedule that I almost feel like I missed it! I have been so lucky to get to do all these things with my very favorite person too.

This year has also been a shit show of just plain bad luck. To start our year, our furnace basically craps out. Luckily, its tax season and the tax refund covers that. Then our bathroom floods and we end up having to replace all the flooring on our first floor. Then some drunk asshole hits AND totals our car. Insurance covers most of these but not all. These were just the major hiccups since January. This doesn't count all the day to day struggles that we endure. It is so easy for me to just fall into the "Why me?" pity party. Each time, I ask what the hell we are doing wrong to have it so hard when it feels like everyone else has it so easy. Here's where I need to stop before someone yells at me.

Here we are. I am going to be honest with you as well as myself. Being an adult sucks. Sometimes you don't get that promotion you had your eye on. Sometimes you don't know how to talk to your teenager. Sometimes your washer just stops. I mean, there is this phrase that says whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger but for crying out loud, how strong does one person need to be???

I find myself spending a lot of time looking into other people situations thinking I know what's up and being so infinitely jealous that I don't have it "easy" like they do. I forget that other folks are icebergs too. That what I am seeing is just the tip and that I don't know their struggles. And for that, I am sorry. To no one in particular and to everyone.

My promise to myself is to stop looking in other peoples windows and assuming I know how perfect every one else's life is. I promise myself to look at my own problems not with eyes of pity but with solution. And to keep putting out good karma.